以下是一些搞笑的英文語錄：
1. "It's not the distance that hurts, it's the ringing in my ears."（不是距離傷感，而是我耳朵里嗡嗡響。）
2. "If you don't sleep with me tonight, you'll be sorry."（如果你今晚不睡我，你會後悔的。）
3. "I'm like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get."（我就像一盒朱古力，你永遠不知道你會得到什麼。）
4. "I don't care if I ever get out of this jail. I've already been in jail."（我不在乎我是否能從這個監獄裡出來，我已經蹲過監獄了。）
5. "I'm like a dog with a bone. The more I try to pull away, the more I get stuck."（我就像一條狗咬了骨頭一樣，我越想擺脫它，我就越被卡住。）
6. "I don't know why I said that. It came out of nowhere."（我不知道我為什麼會這么說，它突然間就冒出來了。）
7. "I have a friend who thinks he's God's gift to women. He doesn't realize he's God's screwup."（我有一個朋友認為自己是上帝賜給女人的禮物，他沒意識到自己其實是上帝的失誤。）
希望這些搞笑的英文語錄能夠帶給你快樂！