以下是一些英文幽默短句：
1. "Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get." (Life is like a random surprise every time you open a new chocolate.)
2. "I have a new theory. I think the world is just a giant video game, and we're all just NPCs (non-player characters) going through our pre-scripted routines."
3. "The secret to longevity? Eat more pizza and beer."
4. "The only way to do everything perfectly is to do it over and over again."
5. "I'm not a failure, I just have yet to find my purpose. It's on the top of a mountain, and I keep getting lost."
6. "The best way to predict the future is to invent it."
7. "I'm not lazy, I'm just waiting for something interesting to happen."
8. "The only thing stopping me from being perfect is my lack of motivation."
9. "I don't have time to lose weight, I have too much time to lose."
10. "The best way to make a bad day better is to make a good day worse."
希望這些句子能夠為您帶來一些歡笑！