1、Carl:There's a time crunch,and time is of the essence.Anyway,I am goneorrhea.Wow.That didn't sound quite right.Oh,well.
卡爾：時間太緊，時間就是一切，總是，我得了性病，啊，聽起來真不咋地。
2、Peter:This wasn't drinks at a bar,Carl.This was my engagement party.You only get married once.
皮特：卡爾，這又不是到酒吧消遣，卡爾，這是我訂婚，結婚就一次。
3、Carl:I certainly wound't do it again.
卡爾：我當然不會有第二次了。
4、Peter:I know,Carl.I know that Stephanie left you.And I know that you have issues because of it.But this isn't about you.It's about me.When's the last time you did anything fun?You always make excuses."I don't wanna commit.I don't wanna be tied down."I mean,do you even know my fiancee's last name?
皮特：卡爾，我知道史蒂芬妮離開你了，我也知道你心裡還有疙瘩，但這次不是你的事，這是我的婚事，你最後一次找樂子是什麼時候的事了？你總是給自己找藉口，「我不想負責，我不想被拴住」，你知道我未婚妻姓什麼嗎？
5、Carl:Yeah.Fisher.Fishman.Wait.Fishwall?
卡爾：當然，費舍爾，菲什曼。等等，我再想想，菲什沃？
6、Peter:Fishwall?You think her name's Lucy Fishwall?
皮特：菲什沃？你覺得她叫露西·菲什沃？
7、Carl:No?That's wrong?
卡爾：不？真錯了？
8、Peter:It's Burns.
皮特：是伯恩斯。
9、Carl:Burns?
卡爾：伯恩斯？
10、Peter:It's Lucy Burns,Carl.And guess what?She doesn't like my best friend.
皮特：她叫露西·伯恩斯，卡爾。你猜怎麼著，她竟然不喜歡我最好的哥們兒。
11、Terrence:You're dead,Carl.You say no life,and therefore you've not living.You make up excuses to the people around you and to yourself.You're stuck in the same deadend job.You have been for years.You don't have a girlfriend.You don't have anything close to a girlfriend.And you lost the love of your life because she couldn't be with someone who didn't live theirs.And on most nights you're so bored and filled with ennui…you can't even summon the enthusiasm necessary to masturbate.All I right?
泰倫斯：卡爾，你的心已死，你總是對生活說不，生活便對你關上了門。你編造種種藉口敷衍身邊的人，敷衍自己。長久以來，你都陷在了一份毫無前途的工作中，你連女朋友都沒有一個，甚至沒有認識個女朋友的機會，你失去了生活中的摯愛，因為她不想和一個孬種共度一生。在大多數個夜晚，你筋疲力盡，百無聊賴，甚至沒有痛痛快快地完成一次手淫。我說的對嗎，卡爾？
12、Carl:I have had some trouble.
卡爾：我的確有些難題。
13、Terrence:We're gonna make a covenant,Carl,do you want to make a covenant?
泰倫斯：卡爾，我們來定個契約，你想與我定個契約嗎？
Carl:Oh…
卡爾：額…
14、Terrence:The word is"Yes,"Carl.
泰倫斯：你該說"好的"，卡爾。
Carl:Yes!Yes.
卡爾：好的，好的。
15、Terrence:Once you leave this building everytime an opportunity presents itself…no matter what it is…you will say yes.
泰倫斯：一旦你離開這棟建築，每當機會出現時，不管它是什麼，你都要說「好的」。
16、Carl:Yes.Yes…What if I say the other word?
卡爾：可是如果我說了另一個詞呢？()
17、Terrence:You'll be making a promise to yourself.And when you break a promise to yourself things can get a little dicery.
泰倫斯：你必須向自己做出承諾，當你違背承諾時，一切都變得複雜了。
18、Allison:Am I going too fast for you?
艾莉森：覺得我騎機車快嗎？
19、Carl:No.In fact,I think you should go faster.That way if we crash,at least I'll die.I just don't wanna be kept alive artificially.
卡爾：不，事實上，我覺得你可以更快一些，如果撞車了，我就可以直接死掉，我可不想變成植物人。